estro: (tanning)
( Oct. 5th, 2009 09:59 pm)
I seem to have hit a run of mild ill luck of late: petty thefts, misfortunately delayed mail, food poisoning yesterday, and today I am pretty sure I am dealing with the onset of being sick. But, given all that, let me share the little things I have been focusing on that make my world better.

Today’s joy was watching a Dane-mix, having escaped it’s leash along Lake Merritt, launch itself into the midst of a flock of Canada Geese. The beauty in that instance of grace and chaos as the geese took off and the clear canine-bliss of the running dog had me laughing. I caught up with the owner just as she was reattaching her dog to his lead and thanked her for that moment. “He has been wanting to do that for a while and finally found an opportunity”, she looked rather frazzled. The dog was entirely unrepentant; tail wagging he butted my hands with his huge head demanding attention.

Another silliness is the micro-relationships I have with people who are otherwise strangers. For instance, part of my weekend commute ritual is to race the train after I debark in Santa Clara. My goal is to reach the end of the station’s parking lot before it catches up with me. This is not really a competition as my success is determined entirely by how quickly the ushers get the other passengers sorted and what car I boarded rather than my speed. On occasion I look up at the engine as it passes and catch a glimpse of the engineer in the window. A week or so ago, while trying for that last futile burst of speed I glanced at the passing engine and noted the engineer watching me in the iconic pose of insouciance: casually leaning back, elbow on the window ledge, hand holding a cigarette which he idly ‘toasted’ at me. I was thoroughly amused though I figured it was a coincidental moment rather than intended communication. Since then, I look up every time the engine passes and invariably I get a wave or a blast of the horn.

Lastly, this week I received confirmation that I am now registered with the National Bone Marrow Donor Program. I originally found out about this through [livejournal.com profile] ladylonglocks and later was alerted to the free registration window by [livejournal.com profile] shoutingboy. Now it seems that registration is entirely free again (they used to have a fee to cover the lab costs).
estro: (tanning)
( Oct. 5th, 2009 09:59 pm)
I seem to have hit a run of mild ill luck of late: petty thefts, misfortunately delayed mail, food poisoning yesterday, and today I am pretty sure I am dealing with the onset of being sick. But, given all that, let me share the little things I have been focusing on that make my world better.

Today’s joy was watching a Dane-mix, having escaped it’s leash along Lake Merritt, launch itself into the midst of a flock of Canada Geese. The beauty in that instance of grace and chaos as the geese took off and the clear canine-bliss of the running dog had me laughing. I caught up with the owner just as she was reattaching her dog to his lead and thanked her for that moment. “He has been wanting to do that for a while and finally found an opportunity”, she looked rather frazzled. The dog was entirely unrepentant; tail wagging he butted my hands with his huge head demanding attention.

Another silliness is the micro-relationships I have with people who are otherwise strangers. For instance, part of my weekend commute ritual is to race the train after I debark in Santa Clara. My goal is to reach the end of the station’s parking lot before it catches up with me. This is not really a competition as my success is determined entirely by how quickly the ushers get the other passengers sorted and what car I boarded rather than my speed. On occasion I look up at the engine as it passes and catch a glimpse of the engineer in the window. A week or so ago, while trying for that last futile burst of speed I glanced at the passing engine and noted the engineer watching me in the iconic pose of insouciance: casually leaning back, elbow on the window ledge, hand holding a cigarette which he idly ‘toasted’ at me. I was thoroughly amused though I figured it was a coincidental moment rather than intended communication. Since then, I look up every time the engine passes and invariably I get a wave or a blast of the horn.

Lastly, this week I received confirmation that I am now registered with the National Bone Marrow Donor Program. I originally found out about this through [livejournal.com profile] ladylonglocks and later was alerted to the free registration window by [livejournal.com profile] shoutingboy. Now it seems that registration is entirely free again (they used to have a fee to cover the lab costs).
After errands, my day started with brekkers at Brenda's, which has the most amazing grits ever (and tasty beignets, too).

The weather fit one of my definitions of perfect: mostly overcast all day, with the sky clearing up enough to be deep blue with pink and purple cloud streaks for sunset, I got to people watch downtown, and treated myself to a sunflower to use as a royal scepter for the afternoon.

[livejournal.com profile] avar1c3 had offered to treat me to a tongue piercing as a gift (I have wanted one since I was 16, given all, now is a good time logistically to get one, and would have been the right sort of pain to help focus some processing). Alas, this proved impossible. Apparently my tongue is too short. While this is deeply disappointing (the intended affirmation did have sorta a consolation prize feel, and then to be denied even that, stung a bit), the industrial piercing I got instead really feels right and I can work with in a way that may end up being more positive for me than what we had originally intended.

And now I finish of the evening by sipping Laphroaig, kitties near at hand, and hopefully trouncing [livejournal.com profile] xthread at both Ticket to Ride and Race for the Galaxy.

Minus one tiny bit, today has been a pretty good birthday. Thanks to those who checked in with warm wishes.
After errands, my day started with brekkers at Brenda's, which has the most amazing grits ever (and tasty beignets, too).

The weather fit one of my definitions of perfect: mostly overcast all day, with the sky clearing up enough to be deep blue with pink and purple cloud streaks for sunset, I got to people watch downtown, and treated myself to a sunflower to use as a royal scepter for the afternoon.

[livejournal.com profile] avar1c3 had offered to treat me to a tongue piercing as a gift (I have wanted one since I was 16, given all, now is a good time logistically to get one, and would have been the right sort of pain to help focus some processing). Alas, this proved impossible. Apparently my tongue is too short. While this is deeply disappointing (the intended affirmation did have sorta a consolation prize feel, and then to be denied even that, stung a bit), the industrial piercing I got instead really feels right and I can work with in a way that may end up being more positive for me than what we had originally intended.

And now I finish of the evening by sipping Laphroaig, kitties near at hand, and hopefully trouncing [livejournal.com profile] xthread at both Ticket to Ride and Race for the Galaxy.

Minus one tiny bit, today has been a pretty good birthday. Thanks to those who checked in with warm wishes.
estro: (trollusk)
( Jun. 13th, 2009 12:13 pm)
So normally I avoid meme-like web devices, and I don't think this is the most optimal tool for feedback, but I am interested in the feedback.

From the limited sample set of adjectives, pick an even more limited set that you think best suit me (cause really, people only have five or six primary aspects). This gets compared with the limited set that I most self-identified with when I created the poll.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=estro

(this is [livejournal.com profile] nadyalec's fault. :} )

Edit: It is totally cracking me up that the ads on the bottom of the page (so far) have been for World of Warcraft and Dianetics.
estro: (trollusk)
( Jun. 13th, 2009 12:13 pm)
So normally I avoid meme-like web devices, and I don't think this is the most optimal tool for feedback, but I am interested in the feedback.

From the limited sample set of adjectives, pick an even more limited set that you think best suit me (cause really, people only have five or six primary aspects). This gets compared with the limited set that I most self-identified with when I created the poll.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=estro

(this is [livejournal.com profile] nadyalec's fault. :} )

Edit: It is totally cracking me up that the ads on the bottom of the page (so far) have been for World of Warcraft and Dianetics.
estro: (speculum)
( Mar. 6th, 2009 11:00 am)
In the name of eventually making myself actually employable I accepted the weekend swing shift at a south bay colo. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, noon - 8 with a best time 1.5 hour commute each way by public transit. Average time commute is probably closer to two hours. 8 hours at $15 an hour, minus the $16-$20 daily fare, and considering the 3 to 5 hours spent in commute effectively means I am killing my weekends (and thus my social life) for around $9 an hour. Even were this full time, $15 an hour is barely enough to live on*, so I still need to find work on the other four days.

The people at the colo are great, and I will be getting experience and knowledge in both network engineering and systems. Looking at this from a furthering my education standpoint makes it seem like a totally reasonable thing to do (I would have to pay to go to school for not nearly as practical an education) and I look forward learning new stuff. However, from just a mental health perspective, it is going to be really, really, rough. I have already done the commute two days running for other reasons, and the days end up being exhausting.

I need to figure out how to make the time in transit income generating (I can use my laptop on the hour of train time, but have no internet (both Caltrain and Amtrak gave up on those plans). I also need to figure out how to be regularly and sufficiently employed on at least three weekdays so that I can also pay rent, bills, and eat. And, most importantly, I need to figure out how to keep myself functionally happy as my life (and the lives of my dear ones) isn't structured such that most of my socially and emotionally affirming interactions can happen during the week.

*For those not familiar with bay area rents, while living alone in a tiny apartment is my biggest luxury, I still pay less for rent than most people not living with their parents.
estro: (speculum)
( Mar. 6th, 2009 11:00 am)
In the name of eventually making myself actually employable I accepted the weekend swing shift at a south bay colo. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, noon - 8 with a best time 1.5 hour commute each way by public transit. Average time commute is probably closer to two hours. 8 hours at $15 an hour, minus the $16-$20 daily fare, and considering the 3 to 5 hours spent in commute effectively means I am killing my weekends (and thus my social life) for around $9 an hour. Even were this full time, $15 an hour is barely enough to live on*, so I still need to find work on the other four days.

The people at the colo are great, and I will be getting experience and knowledge in both network engineering and systems. Looking at this from a furthering my education standpoint makes it seem like a totally reasonable thing to do (I would have to pay to go to school for not nearly as practical an education) and I look forward learning new stuff. However, from just a mental health perspective, it is going to be really, really, rough. I have already done the commute two days running for other reasons, and the days end up being exhausting.

I need to figure out how to make the time in transit income generating (I can use my laptop on the hour of train time, but have no internet (both Caltrain and Amtrak gave up on those plans). I also need to figure out how to be regularly and sufficiently employed on at least three weekdays so that I can also pay rent, bills, and eat. And, most importantly, I need to figure out how to keep myself functionally happy as my life (and the lives of my dear ones) isn't structured such that most of my socially and emotionally affirming interactions can happen during the week.

*For those not familiar with bay area rents, while living alone in a tiny apartment is my biggest luxury, I still pay less for rent than most people not living with their parents.
I occasionally rant that the Dalai Lama is a selfish jerk, as he has so much peace and balance and all that good stuff that it is in short supply for the rest of us.

Clearly, this is tongue in cheek.

I don't believe that joy, health, luck, mirth, or love are zero sum experiences....but sometimes it feels like it.

So, if it is, all of you folk who put weight in the calendar year change, and openly wished for better things this year: I really hope your year has started off well, cause mine is clearly having behavioral issues...

It hasn't been all bad, but things like my left eye-lid being swollen shut since New Years night, an extra crampy period (also starting on Friday), amongst other things, really don't bode well

Grrr,
I occasionally rant that the Dalai Lama is a selfish jerk, as he has so much peace and balance and all that good stuff that it is in short supply for the rest of us.

Clearly, this is tongue in cheek.

I don't believe that joy, health, luck, mirth, or love are zero sum experiences....but sometimes it feels like it.

So, if it is, all of you folk who put weight in the calendar year change, and openly wished for better things this year: I really hope your year has started off well, cause mine is clearly having behavioral issues...

It hasn't been all bad, but things like my left eye-lid being swollen shut since New Years night, an extra crampy period (also starting on Friday), amongst other things, really don't bode well

Grrr,
Some clarification on the life of this Jen since there have been inquiries:
  • The rope burn on my feet, carpet rash on my back, and a week's worth of sore muscles are not "reindeer games" related.

  • My kitty-daddy though he may be, [livejournal.com profile] xthread and I are not lovers.

  • Really, that is not NRE I have been oozing lately. It may look like it, but I am just in a generally good mood. I think it comes from getting my repressed kinesthetic needs met: dancing, working on friend's projects, and lots of bike time. Also, I have started eating ice cream more regularly again. (Yeah, pints of Hagen Das and Ben and Jerry's were a casualty of the big heart-wreck.)

  • If I haven't contacted you recently, it isn't because I don't love you, I've just been busy and you don't use IM (that I know of).

  • Highlights from my adventures include:

  • Hot-tubbing, twice (I am realizing how many of my peeps have easily accessible tubs. W00t!).

  • Getting to make people pancakes (both in the middle of the day and in the wee hours of night. (Extra squee for women who come equipped with their own Nutella)).

  • Making a new friend dinner and having it come out well (this isn't too surprising, actually, but still....)

  • Fresh beer bread. I must learn how to make this!

  • Rooftop Mojitos.

  • Girl bonding with "my wife" while helping her move. (5 fondue sets? Duuuude.)

  • Kentucky drawls imitating british accents (and well).

  • Consultation and making an appointment for new body art.

  • Flames! Explosions! estro covered in shop gunk! (I prefer Lava soap to Gojo, but the latter is still good).

  • Drunken CS geek conversations in front of the DNA. (I don't know that I have ever seen [livejournal.com profile] artkiver actually laugh before)
  • Some clarification on the life of this Jen since there have been inquiries:
  • The rope burn on my feet, carpet rash on my back, and a week's worth of sore muscles are not "reindeer games" related.

  • My kitty-daddy though he may be, [livejournal.com profile] xthread and I are not lovers.

  • Really, that is not NRE I have been oozing lately. It may look like it, but I am just in a generally good mood. I think it comes from getting my repressed kinesthetic needs met: dancing, working on friend's projects, and lots of bike time. Also, I have started eating ice cream more regularly again. (Yeah, pints of Hagen Das and Ben and Jerry's were a casualty of the big heart-wreck.)

  • If I haven't contacted you recently, it isn't because I don't love you, I've just been busy and you don't use IM (that I know of).

  • Highlights from my adventures include:

  • Hot-tubbing, twice (I am realizing how many of my peeps have easily accessible tubs. W00t!).

  • Getting to make people pancakes (both in the middle of the day and in the wee hours of night. (Extra squee for women who come equipped with their own Nutella)).

  • Making a new friend dinner and having it come out well (this isn't too surprising, actually, but still....)

  • Fresh beer bread. I must learn how to make this!

  • Rooftop Mojitos.

  • Girl bonding with "my wife" while helping her move. (5 fondue sets? Duuuude.)

  • Kentucky drawls imitating british accents (and well).

  • Consultation and making an appointment for new body art.

  • Flames! Explosions! estro covered in shop gunk! (I prefer Lava soap to Gojo, but the latter is still good).

  • Drunken CS geek conversations in front of the DNA. (I don't know that I have ever seen [livejournal.com profile] artkiver actually laugh before)
  • estro: (estro imp)
    ( Aug. 20th, 2006 10:38 pm)
    I should preface this by saying that I had an a great time at MEAT vs. Death Guild. I really need to go out more often; I miss dancing. I realized last night that "I don't have the time" is really bad reasoning on my part. The emotional benefits far outweigh the returns on much of the stuff I am doing instead.

    a short little ramble )

    Preface over, time for the rant:

    People who dance at clubs while holding their drinks just suck.

    People who do so at an industrial club? What the fuck? This is not passive, just bend the knees music! This is stomping, arms swinging, lose yourself in the noise music!

    There are like 12 of us flaily-stompy folk somehow working the brownian probabilities and not hitting each other or anyone else who is actually dancing. Then two drink-holding nutwads, who essentially are just doing the dj-nod, place themselves in middle of the floor! All the collective, subconscious, stochastic modeling that has gone into moving fluidly on the crowded floor suddenly fails.

    And this must have been a pretty robust process, as it seemed to accept all sorts of other factors:
    The woman in full upper torso brace, who danced as if she really wasn't used to her platform heels? Fine.
    Several beautiful creatures in corsets and/or hobble skirts? Fine.
    Go-go dancers in the process of climbing on or off boxes? Fine.

    Bah! Gnosis-interruptus.
    estro: (estro imp)
    ( Aug. 20th, 2006 10:38 pm)
    I should preface this by saying that I had an a great time at MEAT vs. Death Guild. I really need to go out more often; I miss dancing. I realized last night that "I don't have the time" is really bad reasoning on my part. The emotional benefits far outweigh the returns on much of the stuff I am doing instead.

    a short little ramble )

    Preface over, time for the rant:

    People who dance at clubs while holding their drinks just suck.

    People who do so at an industrial club? What the fuck? This is not passive, just bend the knees music! This is stomping, arms swinging, lose yourself in the noise music!

    There are like 12 of us flaily-stompy folk somehow working the brownian probabilities and not hitting each other or anyone else who is actually dancing. Then two drink-holding nutwads, who essentially are just doing the dj-nod, place themselves in middle of the floor! All the collective, subconscious, stochastic modeling that has gone into moving fluidly on the crowded floor suddenly fails.

    And this must have been a pretty robust process, as it seemed to accept all sorts of other factors:
    The woman in full upper torso brace, who danced as if she really wasn't used to her platform heels? Fine.
    Several beautiful creatures in corsets and/or hobble skirts? Fine.
    Go-go dancers in the process of climbing on or off boxes? Fine.

    Bah! Gnosis-interruptus.
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